Marriage Matters

My husband Mark and I will be celebrating our 20th anniversary this year. We have not had a perfect marriage. But, has anyone?? I don't think so. Don't allow yourself to think that the couples around you whose marriages you admire and sometimes envy are perfect. They have to WORK at it! Mark and I have had our ups and downs like everyone. There have been times in our 20 years where one or both of us considered giving up. Marriage is not easy. What is easy is falling into the trap of routine and neglect. Nobody gave us the Marriage 101 manual 20 years ago. I wish they did. We had to learn the hard way. Learn to understand each other's needs and learn to appreciate each other. Your marriage can get to a place where you might think it is perfect. What a dangerous place to be. When we think that we have 'arrived' or 'reached our goal' we forget to be consciously looking after our mate's needs. We can become unaware. I was thinking about how much I love my friendship with my husband. He's my favourite person to be with in the whole world. I don't want to ever take him from granted or cause him to feel neglected and unappreciated. But this can't happen without me consciously choosing to do so. Anything worth having is worth working for. How many times have we heard that? But, it is so true! Is your spouse worth keeping and worth working for? Mark asked me recently what my dreams are right now. I had to think about it. A huge dream of mine for several years was to take a family trip to Disney World. And we did that. Another dream I had was to own a two-story home with an inground pool. We have now done that. As a couple it is important to dream together. We need to have something to look forward to. Follow your dreams. It is a saying that we see a lot. But, how do you follow your dreams if you don't know what they are. What are excited about? What are you hoping for? What do you want to do together? Or be together? I am thinking that a dream night together might be fun. Just you and your spouse. Wouldn't it be nice to know what the person that you're spending the rest of your life with dreams about?