So, They think they know me....

Our oldest daughter, the one who has just entered adulthood, could have been described by her peers as a bit of a 'goody-goody' growing up. She has always had strong morals and convictions. And she was never usually shy about sharing (or imposing) her beliefs with others.

One time, when she was small, we were in a tiny restaurant. Her Dad was at the counter ordering our food. Sarah & I were waiting in our booth. There was a man sitting at another seat across from us. He was smoking. (This tells you how long ago this was - no public smoking around here anymore.) My darling little girl asks me, (not very discreetly), "Mommy, isn't it rude to smoke around children?"

It was not long before the man chose to move to a another seat.

Sarah was seldom punished and not because I'm a big pushover (I'll admit I am a softy), but because she seldom misbehaved. Our biggest struggle with her was her bossiness. Just ask her brother. Our struggle with our oldest child was to convince her that she was not her brother's mother.

(Being bossy does come naturally; she's a first-born and a girl - what could she do? Okay, I'm a first-born too.)

As she has been moving into adulthood, it has been an opportunity for her to spread her wings (a little). She still wants to know that we approve of her choices. (Even if she chooses otherwise.)

A few months ago she asked our permission for something and her Dad and I said "No". We have not had to tell her "No" very often, merely because she has not often asked to do anything to warrant a "No".

In the past year she has acquired some new friends and acquaintances at work and church. Most of these new friends didn't understand our reason for saying "No" or even why she, being 18, would ask us.

She informed me recently that a boyfriend, of one her friends from work, suggested that she needed to rebel against us. His solution was that she should get a tattoo.
HA HA!! (She laughed too.)
My daughter! A tattoo! My daughter does not like pain of any sort. Her pain tolerance is extremely low. And she avoids needles at all costs. (Fainted at school when she had to get a vaccination.)

On the extreme rare chance that she were to get a tattoo, she would want her Dad to go with her.

She told us so.

And, her Dad...he would be the one who would want the tattoo. Not her. It's certainly not something that goes along with her personality.

I find it amusing that this girl's boyfriend would be concerned for our daughter and the parenting she is receiving. He can't assume to know us. (Thankfully my daughter doesn't go to him for advice.)

It is rare in our culture for families to have open relationships with their teenagers and young adults. Unfortunately, it is not the norm. How could they understand? I'm sure rebellion seemed like a normal solution for this boy.

We often tease Sarah that because she is our first-born, we are practicing on her her. We should have it all figured out by the time Brittany is her age. (Or not.)

Parenting is a learning process. And each stage brings its own unique challenges.

Our children don't always tell us everything..right away..but our Heavenly Father is always with them. (And thankfully, my kids still get 'guilt-gut').