I am writing this after reading Jenny's post of Working Full Time and Shame.
Many bloggers are SAHM's; Stay At Home Moms. Jenny mentioned feeling shame due to the fact that she worked full-time. She didn't want to tell other bloggers that she didn't stay at home too.
Here is a woman who felt shame because she worked full-time. And... how many full-time stay-at-home moms have felt shame & guilt because of their choice. It's awful how the enemy causes us to feel shame and not be proud of our position in life.
I have worked full-time almost consistently since before I was married.
I was working for a large telecommunications company when my husband and I married in 1988. A year later we had our first child. Throughout my pregnancy the plan was to have our baby go to a daycare once I returned to work. No big deal! Right? But, I had no way of knowing how difficult that would prove to be. The day my daughter was born I was instantly in love with this new little person. Taking her to a daycare was the last thing I wanted to do.
Over the years we've had different caregivers. There was only one that was not a good fit for us. It wasn't long before we found a better solution.
Working full time was not my passion nor my desire after I became a mother. I wanted to be home with my children.
I was good at my job and worked hard. I chose to enjoy my time there and be successful at my position. God gave me favour in my workplace.
I worked for this large company for 17 years. There were times when I could not get any time off of work while my children were off from school. No Christmas vacation, no March break and no summer holidays. I had to work some Saturdays and most holiday Mondays. That was the toughest time for me.
I left this position with an incentive package. After leaving the telecommunications company, in December 2004, I was home for 1 1/2 years.
There have been many instances over the years, while I was working full-time, when I would feel envious of women who were able to stay home full-time with their children. I would pick up offenses when women would talk about getting together during the day. I would judge women who were not working but talked about tight finances. This was my problem. I was wrong to allow myself to feel this way.
We have women feeling shame for staying home and we have women feeling shame for working!!
The devil likes to have us to be discontent.
I still had lots of time with my children. They had not been deprived of their mother.
I had to learn to focus on what I had and not what I didn't have.
I am now working in an office position at the high school that my son attends.
God has blessed me with a job that I enjoy. I am around teenagers; which I like. I work 8-3 which is great hours for me. And I can have lots of time off during the exact time that I couldn't get off before. I can have two weeks off at Christmas. I can be off during March break. I don't work Saturdays or any holidays. I can have 4 weeks off during the summer. Thank you God!!
Some of us are required to be at home. Some of us are required to be in the workplace.
Not better. Just different.
Make sure your choice is right for You and the plan that God has for your life.
Be where God needs you to be and it will be the right fit.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Working Full Time
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12 comments:
Thank you so much for this post. I need to work, and I am often jealous of those who are able to be SAHMs. When I had Nathan, the last thing I wanted to do was leave him with someone else, but there was no other choice.
I am good at my job AND I am a good mother, and I'm not going to allow Satan to sow any more seeds of discontent in my heart.
Xandra
Your words are so true! We all need to be content with what God has called us to do.
Being a SAHM, but a homeschooling one lends it's own problems. I can find myself wishing I had the time in the day to meet with other SAHM moms, but my time is not my own. I am dedicated to teaching my kids and/or learning along with them.
Also, because I don't contribute significantly to the income, I take my job of trying to SAVE us money very seriously. I keep the woodstove going and keep the grocery bills down. I've learned to live with less fancy things than other people, but it is because I am doing what God has called me to do.
I'm still learning to be content ....
Excellent. I couldn't have said it any better. It's hard to do either and feel guilty while doing it. One is not better than the other...just different...very wise words.
Good post Rhonda! I agree...both "parties" can tend to feel shame or envious of the "other.
Lets all do what God calls us to do as individuals (it will not all be the same!), not judge one another, and be content in our circumstances!!
Shame and guilt...such effective tools of the enemy when we allow it.
I stayed home with all of my children until this year, BUT, it did not start with the most honorable intentions...I was paralized by the fear of not having my children in my sight. I knew that if I was with them, they were safe...That was something that I had to work through and eventually trust God with.
13 of the years that I was home with my kids, I was running a daycare from my home....I still felt the guilt of not having enough time to spend with my own children....or being so tired of kids by the end of the day, I wanted my own in bed.
When our youngest went to school and then full time, I felt guilt about the time I had to myself....though, I thoroughly enjoyed my first year of "freedom".
Then, I wanted more, I wanted a bit of structure to my day, I wanted to feel a sense of self satisfaction, something that was for ME.... I felt guilty for wanting to work, guilty for the perceived disruption to my family's world.
Trusting it all to God, was the answer, He full filled all of our needs in a way that only He could have dreamed up....He did through each phase of motherhood, and allowing Him to be the deciding factor in each decision was the key....not the shame, or in my case fear.
Great post Rhonda!
Each home and situation is unique. We need to seek out what is God's best for our particular situation.
I starting working at age 12. When the kids came along I worked part time. I started back to doing hairdressing casually when Ryan was only two weeks old.
I went back to work part time when Amanda was only 6 weeks old - it was the perfect set up as she came to the office with me.
After Derek was born things changed dramatically and I quit work - now that was hard! I stayed home for 7 years and did some babysitting. This is what worked best for us at the time. It was a challenging for me not to work as I sometimes felt that the load on Kevin was pretty intense. Kevin started a company and worked at it part time to help ends meet and we did very little "extras" in those days. Kevin was great to just bless me in being home to care for our children.
We made the decision together that it was best for me to be home and together we worked out the details.
This was an excellent post Rhonda--you are bang on when you speak of both situations! I, too, work, but only p/t. Some would say it's the best of both worlds, but it def. has it's struggles as well... It is a daily battle to focus on what we have..and not what we don't. Thanks for posting this..I got alot out of it.
EXCELLENT post!
Both are good, and each has their own unique challenges. The key, like you said, is knowing what you are supposed to do, and follow it, knowing God will make up for what we need.
Thanks for sharing
Thanks for entering my giveaway - just a reminder to link to my post to be eligible to win.
I also wanted to say that this is a great post. At our Mom's ministry at our church, we are working on bridging the gap between SAHMs and working moms. My sister is the leader of it this year and it is pretty cool b/c she knows what it is like to be a SAHM and a working mom. She worked for the first 3 years and now is a SAHM.
I think the key thing is that we are all doing what the Lord has called us to do - and believe and trust that He is showing us what is right for us and our family.
Great post!
Thank-you for your post Rhonda.
Honestly, more times than not, I've felt guilty for working full-time too! Often, after conversations with SAHM...I've walked away feeling guilty...because if we did this right, or that differently, surely God would bless us and I'd be able to stay home.
Or....God's plan is THAT A MOM MUST stay home....meaning, if the husband is REALLY honoring God and providing, the wife wouldn't have to work.
I'm realized, that NOT every family, nor is EVERY situation the same.....for now, God has me working full-time...carrying the bulk of our income and total insurance coverage.
I'm not a bad person, nor is God unhappy with me!! But rather, God wants me right where I am.
I believe that God wants to LOVE, and BLESS EACH and everyone of us...regardless of if we work fulltime, or stay at home fulltime.
Because reality is....both working Moms, and SAHM's...WORK fulltime! :-)
Kim~
Great post Rhonda! Thank you for all your encouraging words. Have a great week and I look forward to reading more and more!
Jen
WOW Rhonda...you are on a roll girl...great post!
I can relate to BOTH sides of this coin...when I stayed home for 9 years I thought I needed to work to validate myself and my abilities, then I worked full time (and then some in ministry) for 5 years and felt guilty about working all the time, and now I am back home and glad to have the life lessons on both sides of that coin.
Now, working at home, for myself, has blessed me to have BOTH sides taken care of.
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