My husband and I mutually know a woman that is our age.
Whenever we run into her we receive a big "Hi Mark!".
He is acknowledged. I am not.
I am invisible.
Usually I will look for an opportunity to busy myself, so I don't look like a complete outcast.
This is not new. This has been happening for a few years now.
We were recently somewhere that this happened again. Mark was acknowledged and I was not by this woman.
Due to this repeated 'dissing' I was not able to receive a word that she had to say. In my mind she had completely removed any validity that she might have had.
I was discussing it later with my husband. He said to me, "You took the bait."
After studying John Bevere's The Bait of Satan with our cell group, a while back, this is a common phrase that we use to let the other know that they might have taken up an offense.
I don't like taking up offense. It is a sin. I know it is wrong.
I'm not kidding myself. I know that I will encounter offense in life. It's up to me how I respond.
It is impossible that no offenses should come. Luke 17: 1
Just because I was mistreated did not give me an excuse to hold an offense.
I told my husband that I was not offended. However, the next day, when he and I saw her again, she apologized for not speaking to me. The walls came down. I now felt safe. Ugh. I now knew I had indeed taken up an offense.
I know I was wrong. Even if I was justified, I was wrong to respond in my heart the way I did.
The following day I sat down and wrote her a letter. A letter of encouragement. This is the first time that I have ever taken the time to do this. She has a lot of good qualities and is a committed believer. I know that my words of encouragement will really bless her.
Sunday, October 05, 2008
I Took The Bait!
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10 comments:
You are too beautiful to be ignored. She is apparently intimidated by you. Pray for her that she will receive a blessing of stronger self-esteem. People like that are actually sad! Melissa
Thanks for posting this. It's a great reminder for all Christians who are living out a genuine faith. Karyn www.christiancupid.com/blog
Rhonda,
GOOD FOR YOU!!! It is SO easy to "take the bait" as you say, especially since we live in such a fallen world.
I have had that happen to me, too often to count, especially being in ministry, but I have had to learn that what they may or may not think is really not what I am concerned with...it's what my husband thinks and what my God thinks that matters. (I know, I know, easier said than done)
Good for you on the letter of encouragement though, you will probably be surprised at how well she will respond to this.
xoxo,
Melissa in Mel's World
Rhonda,
I'm proud of you! ;o)
H.
Well my friend it seems we're both on a learning curve on this topic! :)
I had a moment yesterday... sometimes it just SO hard.... the bait is just SO huge and right in your face... but alas... in spite of my pride I knew taking ownership for my response was a MUST! Man - sometimes it's tough growing into a mature Christian.
Thanks for the timely post!
I am found out that I am a jealous wife. Sometimes I've even surprised myself! Thanks for your honesty ... you inspire us all!
Thank you for sharing this and being so honest and open with us all about it. God uses so many things to teach us! That experience taught you...and all of us who get to read about your experience get to learn from it as well! Thank you! :)
I'm so glad that I found your blog today! I was just thinking about how I have been too quick lately to take offense with people. I think God led me to this post!
How does that happen to us at times? Recently I did something and I didn't want any credit until they gave the credit to another lady. Then I put on the "right" face but in my heart I was ticked!
Offenses do come easily!
Have a great day!
Jen
Nice going.. upping the anty on being real and vulnerable as a blogger, and a leader.
Thanks for leading the way. I love your honesty and thanks for the reminder. I'll receive it.
Bait Of Satan is such a good book... gotta re read it some time in the near future.
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